As Hercules comes to Aso Rock Villa

                      As Hercules comes to Aso Rock Villa 

                                                   By Clem Oluwole

I have read a lot about Hercules and watched countless movies on the Greek mythical strongman. In my collection of books on the Greek legends, those from Bulfinch’s stables fascinate me a lot. Many English words, phrases, idioms and figures of speech have their origins in these myths.

One of the greatest feats of Hercules, son of Zeus, was the cleansing of the Augean stables. For 30 solid years, the stables, quartering about 1, 000 oxen and owned by King Augeas, had not been washed. The task of Heracles which the Romans rechristened Hercules was to clean them… in one day! Hercules worked the miracle by re-routing two rivers, Alpheus and Penus, to flush them. Cleansing of the stables was the fifth of the 12 labours set for Hercules by his cousin, King Eurystheus, to atone for the sin of slaughtering his spouse, Megara, and six sons as ordered by Pythia, the Oracle of Delphi, after which he would be rewarded with immortality.

The entire Nigerian economic and political space can be likened to King Augeas’ filthy stables. It is 30 years since Buhari’s forced departure from the “political” space. The mess created by successive regimes, especially since the return of democracy in 1999 which worsened in the last six years, is much more than the quantum of the bullshit (excuse the language if you know what I mean) that King Augeas’ 1, 000 oxen discharged in three solid decades. What a similarity! Hercules was a demigod, full of massive muscles and, of course, raw strength. The likes of Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sylvester Stallone and Steve Reeves cut the image of a modern-day Hercules. In terms of physical attributes, the incoming president-elect is not in any way comparable to the demigod. He is lanky and athletic. But what he lacks in macho, he makes it up in strong character, courage, integrity and discipline. Another striking similarity is that both of them were warriors.

On the 29th of this month, Hercules Muhammadu Buhari (HMB), will step into the Aso Rock Villa to commence the arduous task of cleaning up the monumental rot exemplified by corruption, insecurity, unemployment, collapsed economy and everlasting darkness. These are some of the key labours he is expected to perform in his first term of four years. But HMB is not a demigod. So, no one should expect him to accomplish the task of flushing the 30-year-old mess in one day as Hercules did.

Hercules’ first labour was the slaying of Nemean lion. Buhari’s first labour will be the slaying of the Corruption lion. This rampaging beast is the ruiner of our economy. Destroy it and all the other labours would be like a stroll on the well-manicured lawn of the Aso Rock Villa. The monster is at the root of all our problems. Corruption worked against our fight against the Boko Haram insurgency. It is the monster breeding unemployment and bad governance.

One of the surest ways of shutting down the devil’s workshop which idle minds represent is for Buhari to mobilise his anti-corruption forces to raid the Public Service Cemeteries (PSCs) where large armies of ghost workers and ghost pensioners come from the dead every month to collect salaries. He will soon find out that more than 40 per cent of salaries and wages are paid to these categories of beneficiaries despite all the scientific strategies employed to keep them in their graves. An average public servant loves to steal. Then, there are also those workers in the public sector who have refused to age. They alter their records ever and anon just to remain on the job. These ageless elements should be located in the system and flushed out the way Hercules cleaned up the Augean stables. By so doing, coupled with the exorcising of 40 per cent ghost workers from the system, more vacancies will be created to absorb hundreds of thousands of jobless graduates, thus diffusing the fast ticking unemployment time bomb.

Another herculean labour to be performed by the incoming government that is central to employment generation is power. If Buhari can pummel the stubborn power to submission, many collapsed industries and those that have fled to smaller countries where steady electricity supply is guaranteed would resurface and offer jobs to our teeming youths. Small and medium scale enterprises will also sneeze back to life to complement those that are gasping for survival for lack of or inadequate power supply. It is scandalous that this critical sector has gulped billions of dollars in the past 16 years and our reward is everlasting darkness.

Aside from keeping tabs on corruption and encouraging whistle blowing, another labour that the Buhari regime can shy away from at its own peril is wastage. It is public knowledge that about 25 per cent of our annual budgetary allocation ends up in the pockets of senators and members of the House of Representathieves numbering 456. Excuse the homophones. I meant to write Representatives. A situation where less than 500 folks would corner over N1trn a year, leaving a little over N3trn for thieving civil servants and the rest of us to struggle over, is unimaginable and unacceptable.

Nigerian lawmakers are the highest paid in the whole world. I am encouraged by the resolve of two senators-elect, Ben Bruce (PDP, Bayelsa East) and Dino Melaye (APC, Kogi West), to champion the cause of reduction in the remunerations and allowances payable to lawmakers of the 8th Assembly… in the spirit of change. Thumbs up for Big Ben, who is even a PDP man! He has vowed to psych the masses against any lawmakers that resist pay cut. The impoverished masses should brace up for the change we all laboured for. The great paradigm shift is around the corner… a huge leap from the government of the extremely rich minority to the government of the extremely poor majority.