In Ghana, women are fighting back

 In Ghana, women are fighting back

By Clem Oluwole

(First published on Wednesday, March 9, 2011)

Elementary journalism teaches us that if a dog bites a man, it is no news. But if a man bites a dog, front page will scream. We shall come back to that shortly. News arithmetic also educates us that if a managing director impregnates a female cleaner, it is no news. But if a cleaner impregnates the chairman/managing director, it is a front page stuff. Also, if Manchester United or Arsenal or Chelsea or FC Barcelona complete with Lionel Messi, thrash Zamfara United by 11 goals to 0, it is no news. But if Nasarawa United or Birnin Kebbi XI or Warrri Wolves humiliate Real Madrid FC, inspired by Cristiano Ronaldo, by 11 unreplied goals, it will attract a banner headline. However, that elementary journalism referred to above has been rendered no news in places like Ondo, Plateau and Cross River States where men and even women bite dog in pepper soup or ‘shish kebab’.

In a similar vein, it is no news if a man batters a woman. This is because women are the weaker sex and they have been on the receiving end since creation. But it is newsworthy if a woman pummels a man as it is being demonstrated in Ghana. Last week, a colleague drew my attention to a report about some Ghanaian men who have been turned into punching bags by their spouses, believing that it would be of interest to my humor clinic. He was damn right. That is my kind of stuff. I seized the paper from him and thanked him.

According to the report quoting the public relations officer of Domestic Violence and Victim Support Unit of the police, assistant superintendent of police Freeman Tetteh, the abuses against men included causing bodily harm, physical assault and a few cases of the women abandoning their children in the care of their husbands. Available statistics showed that, last year alone, more than 2,000 cases were recorded. In 2009, about 2,568 men were reportedly beaten up by their spouses. Conversely, over 12,000 women were manhandled by their husbands in 2010. In the previous year, more than 14,000 women found themselves on the receiving ends of their pugilistic spouses.

I really do not know at what point marital bliss gave way to marital combat among married couples in Ghana. I was old enough to appreciate happy marriage before my old man decided I should be sent packing from Kumasi. Ghanaian men were great lovers and their women were even more caring and affectionate. And because they were subscribers to the time-honored adage that the quickest way to a man’s heart is through his tummy, the average Ghanaian woman is an excellent chef. If I had grown up to be a man in that country, I would have ended up on the laps of one of them. I tell you. The Ghanaian spouses so spiced their marriages with affection that many neighborhood kids were known to form the habit of pairing up themselves to impersonate or mimic married couples. The fondness was that infectious. It is a pity that the ideal marriage has now become ancient memory in the Land of Freedom as Ghana was fondly referred to shortly after independence.

Having left Ghana with that kind of infantile impression, you then understand how stunned I was to know that these same Ghanaian men now beat their wives to pulp. And more shocking it was to me that the loving Ghanaian women have not only gained ascendancy over their men but also turned their matrimonial homes into torture cells where they physically attack them with dangerous weapons such as sticks, machete and hot pressing iron (as if they are press women). Will somebody join me in thanking my father even in his grave for frustrating me out of that country as a kid? Who knows, I would have, today, been reduced to a punching bag in the hands of an Angelina Jolie.

Jealousy is said to be one of the major causes of husband battering. I can understand. A woman can forgive her husband over any offence other than fishing in the pond of another woman. That is how much they hate themselves! Nevertheless, my candid advice to Ghanaian bachelors is that they should avoid a mismatch or mannish ladies in their choice of partners. Imagine a wife looking like Goliath while the hubby is as tiny as David. Only an anointed David wins in a mismatch situation.

But just as I was brooding over the raw deal some weaker Ghanaian men are getting in the hands of their wives, my roving eyes fell on a news story about the alleged brutalization of a female employee of the Central Bank of Nigeria (CBN). The CBN woman named Mrs. Justina Thinkan was brutalized not by her spouse. Her attackers were said to be (four) men of the State Security Service (SSS). Mrs. Thinkan alleged that her assailants did not only beat her up but also dragged her all over the place on the coal tar with one of them threatening to shoot her ‘and nothing will happen’. Only her death! It was as if they were retailing what the Ghanaian men are going through in the hands of their wives. But what was the offence of Mrs. Thinkan, a mother of three and manager of the Risk Management Department (RMD), that put her life at risk on the fateful day? According to her story, she was caught up in a traffic jam opposite the SSS staff quarters between the Water Board and the State House, Abuja. Then, suddenly, a man emerged beside her car and threateningly poked a finger into her face, accusing her of blocking their right of way. This is not the first time security men would rough-handle the weaker sex in the open. Instances abound but space will not permit me to reel them out here. And by the way, is there any organization known as the Society Against Cruelty to Women (SACRUW) in this male-dominated country? Mrs. Thinkan’s harrowing ordeal should be thoroughly investigated and appropriate action taken against the four operatives with kung-fu mentality if found culpable.