The menace of noise pollution

The menace of noise pollution 

By Clem Oluwole

(First published on July 28, 2010)

Mankind is torn between two natures: there are those who are noisy by nature. And there are the others who have zero tolerance for noise pollution. Africans, generally and Nigerians in particular, belong to the first category… they are boisterous by nature. Nigerians feel like fish out of water when they find themselves in quiet environments. Perhaps one of the reasons why the regime of Buhari/Idiagbon was harried out of power was its zero tolerance for all manner of acts of indiscipline one of which was noise pollution.

When the duo were in the saddle, they made sure that no noise emanated beyond the shops where records, cassettes and any other infernal appliances were marketed. Lagosians and the present South-west axis did not find the ban funny at all. The South-westerns afflicted by the “owambe” virus swore at and cursed the regime until it was overthrown. Record sellers and owambe disciples, now back in business are not the only ones guilty of organized noise making. Some car owners, molue and taxi drivers operate mobile disco. Gbim! Gbim!! Gbim!!! Is the sound you hear when they cruise by. At times when these mobile disco cars suddenly zoom past, you nearly jump out of your skin. One neighbour of mine in Jos was guilty of this noise dispersal habit. His rickety car could not pass unnoticed because of the ground breaking sound from the jalopy.

What actually informed this piece is the running battle which the Lagos state government has been having with purveyors of noise pollutants. And just last week, the government through the governor’s adviser on religious matters, Rev. Sam Ogedengbe, ordered all mosques and churches to dismantle loud speakers mounted in the places of worship. The order is aimed at reducing noise pollution to save residents from its attendant health hazards.

In the government’s argument, taking to religion should be a voluntary and personal matter. But because in Nigeria, religion has become a thriving and growing industry, adherents of moderate religions are being harassed and bombarded with cacophony. These days, it is more like cacophonic confusion as preaching from churches and mosques are delivered through speaking trumpets amplified by earthquaking loud speakers.

Governor Jonah David Jang of Plateau State once hit the bull’s eye when he announced to the whole world that there are more churches than beer halls in Jos, yet, iniquity stalks the Tin City (huh, I nearly wrote Sin City). Same goes for other Christian-dominated cities, towns and villages across the land. There are churches everywhere as there are mosques. But there appears to be more churches in every neighborhood than mosques. Remember the ACB advert of those days? ‘For this corner, e dey there; for that corner, e dey there; my brother, I dey go trowway my money for African Continental Bank.’ In fact, the ratio of churches to residential homes in this country is two to three. And that of mosques could be about one to 20. I am not suggesting here that the population of Muslims is lesser than that of Christains. Only the National Population Commission (NPC) can prove that.

In Kubwa, a satellite town in the Federal Capital Territory (FCT), where I live, there is a mosque and a church within the estate of close to 80 flats. The mosque is a shouting distance from my flat and I am going insane with the wake-up calls that pierce through my eardrums between 4 and 5 am daily. At times, they disrupt sweet dreams that come your way. Outside the fenced estate, there are a couple of new generation churches. One of the churches is outstanding for noise-making. The fire-spitting worship auditorium is encompassed by residential buildings. Those folks living around the church would wish they had Barr. Raji Fashola (of Lagos State) as the minister of FCT or that Senator Bala mohammed would ape, mimic or imitate (or whatever) the Lagos action governor. It surprising that the (hapless) residents have not all gone deaf or lost their sanity by now as are result of sleeplessness. Those of us who are living in a safe distance from the church are not very comfortable with the kind of deafening cacophony the church members emit especially during night vigils which hold twice weekly that can trigger off a miracle for the deaf to respond to hearing. How about that?

I have attended a few Pentecostal churches in the past 15 years. In all the places I have been to, the tradition remains the same. I have also attended a number of night vigils where we were told to shout on top of our voices as if God is a Hard Hearer. I have put my eardrums and vocal cord at risk all in a bid to worship God. But I am wiser now. I make sure I sit at the fringes of the congregation and away from any of those ground-shaking amplifying machines. I may have to be wearing earmuffs in the church except when the sermon is going on. But then when the pastor in the course of preaching orders the congregation to shout a ‘louder Amen’ or a ‘halleluia’, what do I do? Hold my ribs together to ensure my internal organs do not implode or summersault? Pentecostal system is a risky ground for someone who has hypertension to romance with unless you are sure you could be healed of the dangerous health condition in the system. This is because a sudden burst of Ameeen from over 5,000 throats could trigger off a heart attack.

This earthquake style of worship in even unChrist-like. God’s ears are so sensitive that he can hear your supplication if offered in a whisper. So, why do we have to bring down the roof with so much noise? When Jesus Christ, was going about His divine assignment, He never cut the picture of a noise-maker. He did not employ a speaking trumpet to deliver His sermons. He preached to and fed a multitude of 5,000 people without intimidating them with a noisequake. He healed the sick, cast out evil spirits, rebuked Satan and raised the dead without emptying His breath into a speaking trumpet. Some men of God believe that their level of anointing is measured by the volume of noise they emit from the pulpit. Others even breathe out anointing through the mic that sends their congregation and the plastic chairs crashing to the ground.

Governor Raji Fashola and his adviser on religious matters have been having this running battle for quite some time now. Pentecostalists are of the strong belief that supplications cannot ascend to the throne room of God when rendered in a low tone. So, their vocal cords must be tuned to the highest volume. May God help them! And now that places of worship have been classified as an industry, I suggest that such religious firms should be relocated to industrial areas where they can go about their noise manufacturing activities without any let or hindrance. Something tells me I should relocate to Lagos. But what about the deafening hoots from impatient Lagosian motorists and the harmful exhaust fumes when caught in a bumper-to-bumper gridlock? This is an instance of being caught between the Aso Rock and the Lagos Lagoon.