Corruption and Allied Crimes University (CACU)

Corruption and Allied Crimes University (CACU)

(Government Approved)

Nigerian Study Centre

Admission into Post Graduate Programmes for 2015/2016 Academic session

Introduction:
The Nigerian Study Centre of Corruption and Allied Crimes University (CACU) is a new academic entity established as a Centre of Excellence for professional training and research in all aspects of corrupt practices and other related crimes in Nigeria. The study centre is government approved in the spirit of free enterprise economy which permits it to exist parri passu with Economic and Financial Crimes Commission (EFCC) and Independent Corrupt Practices and Other Related Offences Commission (ICPC). So, the two nosy anti-graft bodies should mind their own business and not waste their time sending any hounds to the new centre to harass the law abiding academic community. But if they do, they will be pelted with the letter of approval issued by Nigerian Universities Commission (NUC), not National Universities Commission (NUC) which licenses and regulates the operation of regular universities. It will interest prospective candidates in Nigeria that CACU is not a new study centre per se. It originally existed in China but it had to relocate to Nigeria because of the hostile environment which militates against the growth of the industry in that Asian most populous nation. In China, it is death penalty if found guilty of corruption or abuse of office. That is a murderous and evil environment for corruption to grow.

The Study Centre is fully equipped with world class facilities for acquisition languid, deceptive and practical skills, techniques, methods and methodologies in all aspects of high profile corrupt practices hence the introduction of only post graduate programmes… in Nigeria. We consider it a waste of space running certificate, diploma and degree programmes. Nigerians have gone past that level of kindergarten corrupt practices. The Study Centre will focus on producing manpower for the fast growing corruption industry in Nigeria…. a nation where accountability is a taboo. Therefore, the centre will adopt a deep and practical orientation by putting in place high tech facilities in laboratory training for all categories of students. Our cardinal objective is to produce the first female trillionaire thief in Nigeria without being caught let alone face prosecution. However, candidates seeking admission will undergo a rigorous test to ensure that only those with liver to put into practice the uncanny knowledge acquired during their study will be offered admission.

The Study Centre will kick off with three key departments, namely: Department of Unethical Practices and Embezzlements (DUPE), Department of Self-enriching Without Sweating (DSWS) and Department of Stealing in Tandem with Ghosts (DSTWG).

Available Programmes:

1. M.Sc./PhD in Banking and Allied Act Fraud (BAAF). The students will be well schooled in improved Cecilian Methodology which includes the use of nannies, drivers, cooks, maigidis, etc, (as conduits) to amass billions in Naira, dollars, etc, undetected.

2. M.Sc./PhD in Manipulating Ghosts to Swindle Employers (MGSE) of billions of naira in salaries and wages.

3. M.Sc./PhD in Perverting Electoral Justice (PEJ). This programme is reserved for serving justices and senior advocates who have mortgaged their conscience to the vice chancellor and founder of CACU Worldwide, Professor Malfeaseance Lucifer.

4. M.Sc./PhD in Amassing Cash from Local Government Allocations (ACLGA). Only serving governors, deputy governors, commissioners in charge of local government and chieftancy affairs, commissioners for finance and local government chairmen are eligible for this (lucrative) course.

5. PhD (only) in Absolute Tech Malfeasance (ATM). This programme is designed for ministers, principal officers of (all) legislative arms of government at all levels, chairmen and chairpersons of boards of parastatals, permanent secretaries, directors-general, accountants-general, directors of finance, internal and external auditors of MDAs, special advisers and others in this category that are suffering from GATS or Gigantean Acquisitive Tendency Syndrome.

Basic Requirements:

Candidates must possess iron cast determination and incredible knack to enrich themselves. Their admission forms must be endorsed by any Nigerians convicted of high corruption or standing trial for same.

Duration:

Each M.Sc. programme is for 18 months duration, 10 of which are devoted to lectures and practicals, while the remaining eight months will be spent on the fields. Any of the PhD programmes will cover a period of thirty-six months, 20 of which are devoted to lectures and rigorous practicals, while the remaining sixteen months will be on attachments with organizations like the CBN, NNPC, ICPC, NPA, Customs, Pension Firms, Nigeria Police, the National Assembly and wait for it…EFCC.

Method of Application:

Application forms may be downloaded from: www.cacu.ng.sc. Also hard copies are available from CACU, Plot 419, Bodebru Avenue, Maitama, Abuja, or any branch of Lucky Alams Intercontinental Trust (LAIT) Plc. Upon payment of N5m for the masters programme and N10m for the PhD programme or their equivalent in pound sterling, dollars or Euro into CACU Account No. 419-195-419-3190-419. Completed forms without evidence of payment into CACU Bank Account will be regarded as a deliberate attempt to economically sabotage the centre. Such applicants will be fished out and handed over the EFCC for investigation and prosecution.

Closing Date:
Completed application forms must reach the office of the registrar not later than October 31, 2015. Late submission of forms will attract a 20% surcharge.

For further information, please contact:

The Registrar, Corruption and Allied Crimes University (CACU), Plot 419, Bodebru Avenue, Maitama, Abuja,

Private Loot Bag 419419,
Abuja.
E-mail: info419ners@cacu.educ.ng
GSM: +419 080-4190-0419, +419 070-0419-0419
Signed:
Dr. Cecil Tafa-Alams, B. Sc. (ATM), M.Sc. (BAAF), PhD (PEJ).

Registrar.

By Mr. Oluwole