Hatred Women Suffer From Mothers-In-Law
In these cases, the mothers refuse to approve their sons’ choices of partner, telling them to look for better girls or give them the go-ahead to shop for good girls for them. The guys often reject the idea of their mothers shopping for wives for them, and insist on having their way by marrying ladies of their choice, sometimes issuing threats to drive home their point. To avoid the risk of losing their sons or becoming estranged with them, the mothers grudgingly succumb to their sons’ wishes. And so, after the marriage, such mothers naturally take their sons’ rebellion out on their wives, and hate them for no just cause.
Some mothers just become jealous when they see the love between their sons and their wives. Such a woman begins to see her daughter-in-law as someone who has come to steal her son’s love from her. She believes that her son would no longer love and care for her the way he used to do, and so, she nags at her and complains over every little thing she does. If she sees good clothes on her, she would complain that she is wasting her son’s money. And if the man does anything to show his love for his wife, his mother would accuse the wife of charming him with evil spiritual powers. Whenever the man does anything that offends his people, the mother would blame it on his wife, whether or not she knows anything about it.
The matter is made worse if the lady fails to get pregnant in time. As a matter of fact, some mothers-in-law go to the extent of using evil means to prevent their sons’ wives whom they dislike from getting pregnant after their wedding so they can have a perfect excuse to send her packing. They merely pretended to have given in to their sons’ choices of wives while in actual fact, they are not prepared to give up on their disapproval of their daughters-in-law. And even when they are not responsible for their daughters-in-law’s inability to have children after years of marriage, such situation often presents a good occasion for them to throw the wives out of their sons’ homes. They seize that opportunity to make life miserable for their daughters-in-law, demanding their grandchildren and threatening to bring in other women who would bear children for their sons.
Such is the hell that many mothers-in-law make their sons’ wives go through. Some of those women have been said to be so callous as to use evil means to kill their sons’ wives just because they hate their guts. Some have poisoned their daughters-in-law or made them run mad through evil means because of the hatred they nurse towards them. Such women cannot stand their sons’ wives and they want them out of their sons’ lives by all means. So, they would do anything to get them out of their sons’ homes and replace them with their own choices.
There was a case of a young lady who married a man against the wish of her mother-in-law. The woman hated her from the moment her son declared his intention to marry her. Even though both the guy and the lady hailed from Abia State, the guy’s mother insisted that her son could not marry her because one of her own brothers married from the lady’s part of the state and his wife was barren. She decided from her brother’s experience that no member of her family would marry from that part of their state ever again. She chose a wife for her son from their village, but the son insisted on marrying the lady he loved. Thinking that his mother would eventually change her mind about his choice of partner, the guy went ahead to marry the lady. And immediately after the traditional marriage, the lady became pregnant but that did not impress her mother-in-law.
She kept showing up in her son’s home to harass her, telling her she was not wanted there and as such, she would have to leave. The lady was also said to have suffered spiritual attacks from the woman throughout the pregnancy, and had to give birth to her baby through a Caesarean operation. Even after she had the baby, the harassment from her mother-in-law continued with the woman telling her that having a child would not save her from being thrown out of her son’s home. After some time, this lady took in again and this time, she was afraid of her mother-in-law’s reaction, so she hid the pregnancy from her. But as the pregnancy advanced, she couldn’t hide it anymore, more so that the mother-in-law was residing in the same town with them, a local government headquarters called Barkin Ladi in Plateau State.
When the woman saw that her daughter-in-law was pregnant again, she was said to have exclaimed “You are pregnant again? Then you are not ready to leave my son’s house. But you have to go.” Thereafter, she allegedly travelled to her village and suddenly, squabbles began to break out between the lady and her husband. The hitherto peaceful couple began to have problems. One day, they had a quarrel and the guy beat up his pregnant wife so badly that she fainted and began to bleed. She was rushed to the hospital but the hospital in that town could not handle the case because she required an immediate surgery. So they referred her to the Jos University Teaching Hospital (JUTH), a journey of about 40 minutes from that town. She died on the way to Jos with an 8-month-old pregnancy!
That is the extent to which some mothers-in-law can go to establish their authority in their sons’ lives. Some women would rather have their sons remain single for life. That way, they can have them all to themselves without any woman sharing their love or money with them. These women do these evil without remembering that there is God somewhere who sees everything done in secret. And they would not wish such wicked treatments to be meted out to their own daughters.
Women must learn to accept the marriage institution as a reality which their sons must experience at some point in their lives. It is not possible for a man (who is not a reverend father) not to marry when he is ripe for it. And it is not possible for a man to marry his own mother no matter how close both of them are. We must, therefore, let go of our sons when it is time for them to marry. We must also allow our sons to make their own choices of partners and refrain from imposing wives on them. What mothers should do is to pray for their sons not to marry the wrong wives so they can live long in good health and prosperity. Those who love their sons must say those prayers from time to time even before the children are ripe or ready for marriage. The moment the guys bring home their future wives, everything has to be handled with wisdom as there is not much the parents can do to change their minds at that point.
Mothers can advise their sons to get close to God and not to commit themselves to any lady before praying about her. In that case, when they see women they love and want to marry, they should first approach men and women of God for prayers or ask their parents to do so on their behalf in order to know the mind of God concerning their intention. This is necessary because marriage is a big step that lasts for a lifetime and it is good to know if two people are destined to be husband and wife before they take that big step. Many couples marry these days who are not meant for each other and that is why divorce is so rampant in the society. To avoid divorce and lack of peace in the home, couples need to find out if their intended marriage is actually destined by God. But that should be done before a man proposes to a lady to avoid bitterness and other unpleasant consequences of jilting a partner.
That is what a loving mother can do to save her son from going into a wrong marriage. But when her son says he is sure that a girl is right for him, she should support him to realise his dreams and be happy after marriage. She should love her son’s wife as her own daughter and remember that whatever she does to her daughter-in-law, she is sowing a seed which her own daughter will reap in her matrimonial home. And even if she has no daughter of her own, God is always there to judge and punish the wicked of this world.
By Nike Oluwole.
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